A week to go till Cheddar Gorge and I pulled my right calf muscle on this mornings run – so annoying! I was 2.5 miles into a hopeful 6 mile run when I felt it go and by 4 miles had to stop. It’s so freaking frustrating! I came home deflated and limping … Waited for Gav to take Mia to the park and had a damn good cry … I just don’t feel like a runner anymore.
The last few months have been full of exhaustion, back pain, kidney issues and as a result very bad running … May be the toll of the year has come crashing down on me now, Caught up and now has transferred into my one escape – which is my running.
It’s my time to myself, to think, plot and plan… I’ve always been someone who has many things on the go, highly motivated and oddly quite a high achiever. I’ve never been the brainiest, the quickest, the prettiest, the wittiest, but I have always been the most adventurous, my passport has always taken a severe battering and I feel like ‘me’ when I’m at the airport waiting to go somewhere new.
I desperately need a holiday and still have till November to wait for a solid two weeks off (plus a brief girls trip to Rome in a couple of weeks)… I think I need time off to take stock and reevaluate everything – once cheddar gorge 10k is over and the 1000 mile challenge I’m thinking of just concentrating on trails, I’ve fallen in love with trails, the peace and challenge of the terrain. Pavement pounding brings me no end of problems – I’ve totally had enough of it. I refuse to believe that my 44 year old body can’t run and be as fit as possible but may be I should give it more rest and respect it more. I have many responsibilities in my life and I need to gain some perspective of what’s important. Nothing is more important than a two year old terror I have in my life – one thing I want to teach her is to keep fit and active, be healthy and travel as much as possible. May be I need to think about teaching her how to respect your boundaries and sometimes having to go back to the basics and start again … It’s no failure, many people haven’t achieved half of what I have done in my life, the places I’ve been and things I’ve experienced…. I should be grateful.
Will have to walk the 20 odd miles I have left of the 1000 mile challenge but who cares … Miles are miles ….